By Alan Moreton
Relationship Strategy No.1: Appreciate your PartnersDifferences
- Due to your upbringing, family background, cultural heritageand psychological makeup, you and your partner approach lifefrom completely different perspectives.
- By accepting that fact, you can begin to appreciate the valuethat your partner brings to the relationship. A balancedrelationship requires Ying and Yang, the male and the female toflourish. Differing viewpoints make for a rich and rewardingrelationship.
Relationship Strategy No.2: Understand the Nature of Love
- Has the hot, heady romantic passion subsided in yourrelationship? Has the infatuation faded? Good! Now you are readyto move on to the mature stage of love. You have moved past thefirst flush of romantic love where your feelings are in aconstant flutter and your emotions are running high.
- Now you can develop a more mature and realistic approach toyour relationship. Work, family, children, friends, as well asyour relationship, are all part of a much bigger picture. Thisis the natural progression and does not mean that you are nolonger in love. It just means that reality has taken over fromunrealistic expectations.
Relationship Strategy No.3: Accept Your Partners Values andBeliefs
- Do not expect your partner to agree with everything you valueand believe.
- You can expect to fundamentally disagree about most things. Ifyou can accept that your partner has a different opinion toyours, then you can agree to disagree. This need not impact onyour emotional agreement. You can still love your partner evenif you don't agree with their opinion.
Relationship Strategy No.4: Accept that you and your partnerhave conflicting interests
- You like may like pop music, your partner may like soulmusic. You like football, your partner prefers tennis. You likedrama, your partner prefers comedies. You like X, your partnerprefers Y.
- Just because you have different interests does not mean thatthere is anything wrong with your relationship.
- If you experience conflict and stress as a result of engagingin activities that you don't really like, then you shouldconsider giving them up.
Relationship Strategy No.5: Learn How to ArgueConstructively
- Disagreements arise in every relationship. This need not be aproblem.
- When you argue, keep to the issue. Do not verbally attack yourpartner personally.
- Ask for time to calm down if you are emotionally upset.
- Don't put your entire relationship on the line for the sake ofwinning an argument.
- Try to achieve emotional balance after expressing your opinion.
Relationship Strategy No.6: Learn to Control Your Feelings
- Avoid attacks on the self worth of your partner duringarguments. This is potentially destructive and may not representhow you truly feel.
- If you are emotionally out of control, it might be best toleave the room for a while, go for a run, do some exercise orfind other ways to relieve the tension you feel.
- Avoid saying things in the heat of the moment that you mightregret later when you have clamed down.
Relationship Strategy No.7: Remember to Maintain an IntimateRelationship
- It is so easy to drift into lazy habits. Watching T.V. lateinto the night so that you are too tired for intimacy.Overeating or over drinking so that you are incapable of qualitytime together. Allowing yourself to get out of condition orbecoming slovenly in your habits. These all impact on sexualdesire and performance.
- Recapture some of the romance of courtship with flowers,candlelight and dinners for two. Rekindle the flame of sexualdesire by taking the time to be intimate. Maintain the physicalcomfort of touching, caressing and holding hands.
Relationship Strategy No.8: Accept your PartnersWeaknesses
- Your partner may be less than perfect but then so are you.Accept your partner's weaknesses. If they were perfect then theywouldn't need you, would they?
- Focus on your partner's strengths. Make a list of all thethings you like about them and concentrate your attention onthose.
- Providing your partner's behaviour is not abusive ordestructive then you can learn to overlook it and learn tocompensate for them. Remember you are two halves of one whole.
Relationship Strategy No.9: Accept the Unique Qualities ofyour Relationship
- Every relationship is different. What you accept in yourrelationship others may think is objectionable. What you thinkis objectionable in the relationship of others, they may thinkis tolerable.
- Just be yourselves and find your own level of acceptablebehaviour within your relationship. Do not allow yourselves tobe judged by anyone else's so-called standards of acceptablebehaviour.
- Everyone expresses love in their own unique way. Theunderlying feelings are genuine and real, however they areexpressed.
Relationship Strategy No.10: Accept Responsibility for theRelationship
- If you want the relationship to change then start by changingyour own behaviour or attitudes.
- You cannot expect your partner to change just because you areunhappy about their behaviour or their attitudes.
- Accept the responsibility of changing your own approach, usenew techniques, adopt new strategies.
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